


Choices

by Faith280



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Slight mention of abortion/miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-26 14:26:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17747555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faith280/pseuds/Faith280
Summary: Simmons feels his family is ready for a second baby. Unfortunately, Grif doesn’t quite feel the same. Can the couple make it through their differences? After all, it’s not like any bad would happen...





	1. 1

 

 

“No way, Simmons, it’s never happening, so get the idea out of your head. We already got a kid, we don’t need another.”

  
He sighed, he knew what Grif’s reaction would be. But lately, he felt like he’s ready for a second baby.

Little Dexter was already over a year old, he’s old enough to handle a little brother or sister. Simmons just wished that Grif was that mature.

  
“You’re a great father with Dex. Why don’t you want another kid?”

  
“I have my reasons…because.”

  
“Such as?”

  
“You know how I am with my sleeping schedules. A new baby would throw it off schedule.”

  
“You never once got up with Dex in the middle of the night when he was little, it was always me. You could sleep right through any baby crying.”

  
“No, he always woke me up, I pretended to be asleep. I knew if I did, you would go to him, and it worked.”

Shit, I shouldn’t tell him that in case we end up with another baby.

  
“Like I didn’t already know that. Come on, we can’t have our son grow up an only child.”

  
“I grew up with a little sister, and it really sucked. Dex is better off this way. Anyway, he has Wash and Tucker’s new daughter to play with. It’s not that big a deal.”

  
“Yes it is. I grew up an only child and it was lonely. I didn’t know how to interact with other kids. Dex is lucky to have a friend, but it’s not the same as having a sibling.”

  
Oh dear god, Simmons was going to win this argument. I gotta think fast to get him out of this phase.

  
“Another thing, you said how badly it hurt when you had Dex. You can’t handle cutting your finger without passing out. Why go through the torture a second time.” That should end it.

  
“When I had Dex, I was by myself, this time you’ll be here. I made it through the first time, I’ll be fine a second time. That’s why there’s pain killers.”

  
“That’s another point. I can’t handle being in the delivery room.”

  
“There won’t be much to see, the delivery is a C-section. You’ll get to be the first one to hold the baby when it’s born. That’s not so bad.”

  
“The most important thing, what is something happens to you?”

  
“I was find the first time.”

  
“That doesn’t mean anything. What if something happened to you? What would happen to Dex and I without you?”

  
“Life would go on. You’re great with your son. You can raise him.”

  
He got awfully quiet. “Maybe I don’t want to go without you. I wouldn’t know how to survive.”

  
Simmons went over to hug him. “Seriously, I’m strong and healthy. Nothing is going to happen.”

  
“What if Dex didn’t like the idea. Maybe he doesn’t want another kid in the family either.”

  
“I kind of talked about with him the other day. He sounded excited to help out with a new baby.”

  
“How come he knows about it before me?”

  
“He’s easier for me to talk to than you are. I wanted to see if he had any issues before I brought it to you. And I knew you would say no.”

  
“Yeah, I wonder why.”

  
“I also discussed it with Wash and with Dr. Grey. I am totally not making a quick decision here. I’ve thought about this, for a while now. I really think it’s a good time for us.”

  
“You’re going to shoot down every reason of mine of why I’m not ready for another kid, except for the reason that I’m not ready.”

  
He took a gentle, understanding tone with Grif. “I’m listening to you, but I also know you better than you know yourself. You try to talk and act tough. The second Dr. Grey hands you that baby, you will fall in love it.”

  
He sighed and looked defeated. “We are going to be having this baby aren’t we?”

  
“Grif, I’m proud of the fact that I can have a family with you. I love you.”  
Simmons gave him a pleading look.

Suddenly, Grif could picture their kid with bright ginger hair and big green eyes that would be a total nerd. Just like Simmons, damn, Grif couldn’t avoid it.

  
He couldn’t get the image out of his head. He would never admit it, but maybe he really did want to have this baby. Maybe more than anything else in the world. Either way, he was stuck, so he may as well be grumpy about it.

  
“Fine, but I don’t do nighttime feedings and no changing diapers. This one is yours.”

  
Simmons smiled. He no intentions of actually letting Grif get out of helping with the baby. “Sure, you got it.”

  
He gave Grif another hug and a big kiss. Grif rolled his eyes and acted annoyed, but he secretly loved it, and Simmons knew that.

  
It was one of the few times they could be affectionate with each other.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

 

By the morning, Grif kind of forgot about the baby drama. Unfortunately Simmons didn’t.

  
He was up bright and early designing charts and graphs planning the perfect baby itinerary.

Grif walked past the computer as he was stapling the pages together to add to his clipboard.  
“Do I even want to know what you’re doing?”

  
“This is the perfect baby schedule, I spent all morning designing it.”

  
“Oh good lord. You have an addiction to those damn charts.”

  
Simmons ignored his attitude. “These pretty much break down the entire nine months. Odds are between my IT job and the Hydro Garden, I should be able to work up until the end.”

  
“You have the chance for practically a nine month vacation, and you want to work? I married a loser.”

  
He leaned down as he walked past, and gave him a kiss on top of his head. Simmons smiled to himself. After all these years, the two still really loved each other.

  
“What’s the rush with starting the itinerary, you’re not having a baby yet. We only talked about it yesterday.”

  
“Well that’s kind of the thing, I’ve been making these plans for a few weeks now. Asking you was the last step. Dr. Grey said whenever I felt ready, we could start making one.”

  
“So you’re making all these plans without me?” His feelings were hurt. He regretted ever saying yes. “Why are my feelings always the last thing you think of?”

  
“You said yes, and you know me, I worry over everything until it’s done. I thought it was best to start on the baby early. I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings.”

  
“Why was I the last one to know about this?”

  
Simmons put his arms around him and held him close. He was surprised Grif was letting him.

“I only talked to the doctor to find out if I could have another kid and I wanted Wash’s opinion in case I was being stupid. I was saving you from the stress.”

  
“So when are you going through with this?”

  
“She asked me if I wanted to start the hormone shots tomorrow, so later I’ll call and tell her yes. So the baby could be in a few weeks.”

  
“I would like to be included in your plans here a little sooner next time.” His ego was still bruised.

  
They heard little Dexter calling from his room. “Daddy!”

  
Simmons turned to Grif. “You want me to get him or do you?”

  
“I got him. He’s the only one I’m not mad at right now.”

  
“Sorry.”

  
“Yeah yeah, I know. I’m coming Dex.”

  
Simmons started on breakfast. He hated cooking, so they were all having cereal. He cut up a banana for the baby’s bowl.

Dex came running full speed into the kitchen and threw his arms around Simmons’ waist so he could get his morning hug.

  
Simmons picked him and gave him a big hug and kissed his cheek. “Morning buddy.” He sat him down in his high chair.

  
“Morning daddy.” He started happily picking at his bowl of cereal.

  
Grif came in much slower, still half asleep to pour a cup of coffee. He sat at the table and looked disagreeable when he saw that breakfast was cereal.

  
“What is this? There’s no eggs or bacon today?”

  
“If you want eggs, then make them. I’m not cooking today. It’s cereal and toast or nothing.”

  
Grif saw he was serious, so he gave in. Simmons slipped a cut up banana in his cereal as a hint for him to eat healthier. When Simmons wasn’t looking, he tried to slip it to the baby.

  
“Grif, you better eat that banana.” He didn’t even need to turn around.

  
“God, you have radar.”

  
“I have to around this place. I’ll be dropping Dex over at the daycare when I go to work later. I thought for tomorrow, I’ll see if Wash or Tucker can watch him for my appointment. Maybe you can come with me?”

  
Grif looked uncomfortable. “Maybe, we’ll see.” Simmons took it as a no. Grif felt bad about the hurt look on his face.

  
“All done, all done.” Dex wanted out of his chair.

  
Simmons went to get up, but Grif stopped him. “No, I got him. Finish your breakfast, I’m done with mine.” He lifted the baby up. “I’ll get him dressed so you can get ready for work.”

  
Simmons was in shock, he usually had to threaten Grif to do anything in the mornings. He went into the bedroom so he could ready. Grif came in before he was done.

  
“Hey, do you mind if I come with you tomorrow?”

  
“No, I don’t mind, but why do you want to?”

  
“Cause I feel bad. I should be there for you. I wasn’t there when you had Dex, so I wanted to make it up to you.”

He looked down at the floor. He hated apologies, especially when he knew he was wrong.

  
He was being so unselfish, it brought tears to Simmons eyes. “Okay, I’ll find out later what time.”

He gave Grif’s hand a squeeze, he knew this wasn’t easy for him. Grif just shrugged it off and went off to find Dex.

  
“Come on guys, I’m going to be late for work. Grif you better hurry up, you have training with Tucker in less than an hour.”

  
Grif came in with Dex on his shoulders, both of them laughing. “It wasn’t easy, but I caught him for you.” He gently flipped him upside down before handing him over to Simmons.

  
Dex didn’t want to leave Grif, he struggled to get loose so he could go back to him. Simmons had to try to calm him down.

  
“No, you have to come with me, you go play with your friends for a while. Daddy will be over later to pick you up.”

  
“See ya later kiddo.” The two made a big production of waving goodbye to each other as Simmons struggled to get Dex out the door.

  
Being around the baby helped cheer Grif up. This won’t be so bad the second time around.


	3. Chapter 3

 

“God Tucker, is it just me or do the new recruits keep getting dumber and dumber?”

  
“Ha, they are worse than we used to be. Maybe except Caboose.”

  
Grif went to sit down on the grassy area beside the running track, reached into his pocket and pulled out a package of M&Ms.

Tucker decided the recruits should start their practice with five laps around the track and Grif got bored waiting.

  
The guys started lining up, next up was target practice. Despite Tucker’s chilled personality, he took the training sessions serious.

Grif, not so much. He continued to sit and snack on his candy.

  
“Grif, what are you doing?”

  
“Nothing.”

  
“Exactly, you wanna help me here?

  
“Not particularly.”

  
Tucker glared at him.

  
“Fine, you’re hanging around Wash too much.”

  
He grumbled over it, he did make it through the rest of his afternoon. Before he realized it, they were dismissing the troops.

  
“Hey Grif, Simmons called this morning before I left. Wash has a mini mission scheduled for most of tomorrow, but I’ll be there if he wants to bring Dex by. I’ll be hanging out with Chloe. He can bring him by whenever.”

  
“Thanks, he’ll have fun with Chloe.”

  
“Yeah, those two are wild. You know, I’m kinda surprised. I can’t believe Simmons talked you into having a second kid.”

  
“Wait, how the hell do you know about that?”

  
“ Wash told me. Having another kid was all Simmons talked about since we adopted Chloe. He’s your husband, how do you not know that?”

  
“He didn’t bring it up to me. Not until yesterday, and he didn’t want to ask me even then.”

  
“I don’t know, Wash tells me everything. He probably figured you’d yell over it, considering your sparkling personality.”

  
“Oh shut up, I didn’t ask your opinion. I’m leaving.”

“Ya See, you can’t even take a joke.”

  
“Yeah, I know you’re joking. I gotta go pick up the kid. I kind of like not leaving him with the babysitter all day.”  
  
Grif went into the brick building that temporarily was the military’s daycare center. There weren’t many kids enrolled yet, less than ten. But more families were moving to Chorus, the future looked brighter.

  
Dex came running over to him to show off his new drawing. “I made this for you.” He proudly showed off the red and blue scribbled paper.

  
“That’s great buddy, we gotta hang that on the fridge. Ready to go home?”

  
“Okay.”

  
At home, the tiny spare bedroom was turned into a playroom for all his toys. “What do you want to play with?”

  
“My cars.”

  
“You got it. You’re good at building stuff, let’s make a road out of these bricks, then you can drive your cars over it.”

  
“Yay! I can do that.”

  
“So, I hear you’re excited if we bring home a new baby.” He wanted to bring up the subject carefully.

  
He gave a big smile. “Yeah.”

  
“You gonna be a good big brother and help your dad take care of it?”

  
“Yep, I can help.”

  
He laughed and reached over to ruffle his wild, black hair. “You know, you’re a pretty good kid; most of the time.”

  
“Sometimes I wish you listened as well as he did.” Simmons called over from the doorway. Grif didn’t even know he was home.

  
He smiled at him. “C’mon, you’re just in time. We need you to build the bridge so we can finish this road.”

  
The two of them looked so happy. “Sure, let me in here.”

The three had a family play time until dinner time. Dex took ahold of both their hands when Grif tested if the cars could roll over the road they built.

  
Simmons looked at his watch. “Geez, it’s getting late. You guys clean this up, and I’ll start some dinner.”

  
He started the water to boil some spaghetti. He was fighting with opening a jar of sauce when Grif came up behind him.

  
“Damnit, you startled me. I almost dropped the jar.”

  
“Sorry, thought you heard me.”

  
“What’s wrong? You look like something’s bothering you?”

  
“Kind of a repeat of this morning. I shouldn’t be hearing it from Tucker how much you wanted another kid. I should’ve heard it from you, sooner.”

  
“You didn’t even want Dexter at first, I figured you wouldn’t want a second one. I knew the answer would be no, and that really hurt. It took all the courage I had just to ask you last night.”

  
He still looked hurt by it. It broke Grif’s heart to see that look. His husband should be able to tell him everything, and not be afraid of what he would think.

  
“I’m sorry, from now on, if something’s going on, tell me about it. I know I act like I don’t care, but deep down, I kinda, sorta do. So that’s all I ask.”

  
“Thank you. I have an appointment for 10 am with Dr. Grey. You’re welcome to come, if you don’t, it’s okay, I understand.”

  
He pleaded with his eyes that he did really want Grif there. Grif caught the hint. He actually did want to be supportive, no matter how awkward tomorrow would feel.

  
“Yeah, sure, I’ll be there.” He didn’t want to, but he felt better about himself. Especially when he saw how happy Simmons looked.

  
“Go bring out your son. The spaghetti is almost ready.”

  
He felt happier than he had in a while. Grif seemed totally onboard about the new baby. Together, they could get through anything.

  
It’s not like anything bad could happen…  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

 

Simmons ran the doorbell at Wash and Tucker’s house. Tucker answered, with Chloe right behind him. She was waiting all morning for Dexter to show up.

  
“You’re in luck Dex. I got Chloe a plastic basketball hoop, I spent two days teaching her to play, now she wants to teach you. What do you think?”

  
“Yeah, I wanna play.”

  
Tucker held out hand, Dex took It willingly. He completely forgot his dad was standing there, he never even said goodbye. Tucker was the cool babysitter.

  
Simmons didn’t feel jealous; at least not too much. His son was having fun and wouldn’t be homesick.

  
He had to get Grif moving faster or they would be late for his appointment. Not that he would mind. He hated needles; well anything that would bring pain he was against. He was afraid of passing out. It would be too embarrassing. At least he had Grif to take his mind off it.

  
Dr. Grey slammed her way into the room. That woman couldn’t do anything quietly, Grif couldn’t handle her, she made him nervous. The shrieking tone of her voice made him cringe. Why was there no other doctors on Chorus?

  
“All rightee boys, how’s it going? Grif, how nice of you to join the party, it’ll be so much fun. Simmons, you already kinda know what to expect. I got three shots here for ya. Let me get ‘em for you.”

  
“Good lord, the woman is looney tunes. Let’s get of here while we still can.”

  
“Grif, sit down and keep quiet. I know she’s eccentric, but she knows what she’s doing.” I hope.

  
“Okayee, got the syringes ready for you, let’s have some fun.”

  
The needles were huge. Simmons’ face turned pure white and his eyes bugged out. He was never so afraid of Dr. Grey as he was now.

  
“Oh dear god, good luck man.” Grif started chuckling. He knew how to make it worse.

  
She rolled up his sleeves and held the needles like they were daggers. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the pain, he was determined to not cry out.

She found a vein, and no mercy.  
He flinched and grabbed ahold of Grif’s arm.

“Oww, why are you hurting me you jerk? I didn’t do it.”

  
“There, eezzy peezy, you’re all done. The hormone mix will make it easier for the baby. After I get all the blood samples I need from you two, I can ahead and start making the baby.”

  
“How long until I get the baby?”

He recovered pretty quickly from the shots.  
“Umm, a week good for you guys?”

  
Simmons got so excited. “Yes.”

  
Grif dreaded it. “No.” One look at Simmons’ hurt face…damnit, he was stuck. “But I have to say yes.”

  
“Want to start with the blood samples since you’re both here?”  
Simmons usually hated that part, but he was too excited over being able to have the baby.

“Yes, might as well.”

  
Oh my gosh, she is determined to kill me yet. “Only if I have to.”

  
“Yes, Grif you have to.”

  
“Then count me in. But I swear, there better be a lollipop in this for me, or forget it.”

  
“I’ll go to the store and buy you a whole damn bag if you shut up.”

  
But he was smiling over it. This was why he wanted Grif with him, this was why he needed him. Grif knew exactly what to say to take Simmons’ mind off it. Even when he wanted to strangle him, he could make him smile. He felt better just having Grif around.

  
He gave Grif a serene smile. He reached over to hold his hand. He really needed the support. Grif understood, though he he couldn’t figure out why the hell Simmons wanted him there.

  
His behavior was worse than a two year old. He didn’t want to be there, he couldn’t stand the doctor, and he had no opinions that weren’t all attitude and sarcasm. He didn’t get it. He gave Simmons’ a little squeeze.

Whatever the reason, he was only there because he loved his husband.

  
Soon as the torture ended, Simmons went to pick up Dex.

“Hey Tucker, sorry I’m so late.”

  
“No problem, those two have been playing basketball all afternoon.”

  
“I hope Dex wants to go home.”

  
They heard a loud thud, then Dex started crying. “Shit, sorry Simmons, I only stepped away for a second.”

  
They both went running in. The plastic basket ball hoop had fallen over and hit Dex in the face. He was going to end up with a black eye. Tucker reached him first, and picked him up.

  
“Chloe, how did that fall?”

  
She looked down at the ground. “It fell.”

  
“Yeah, I know that. Did you help it along any?” He didn’t exactly yell, but there was an edge to his voice.

Chloe had been abused by her mother, so Tucker was careful when he disciplined her, he tried not to. But he couldn’t let her get away with it either.

  
Chloe looked up at Tucker holding Dex, she was jealous. Tucker was her dad, she was trying not to cry.

Simmons understood the look on her face. He knew her history with her mom, it was similar to how his father treated him. He wasn’t mad at her.

  
He put his hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay Chloe, Tucker it was an accident. Kids get hurt all the time. He’s fine.” He went to take Dex in his arms so Chloe wouldn’t feel slighted.

  
Tucker put his arm around Chloe. He couldn’t stay mad at her long. Wash was better at disciplining her than he was.

  
Dex calmed down and laid his head on Simmons’ shoulder. He would need some ice for his face, a small lump was already forming.

  
It was a long day for all the them. Simmons just wanted to go home and go to bed.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Dr. Grey promised to call as soon as Simmons could come in to try for the baby. He practically camped out in front of the phone for almost a week. He was disappointed day after day.

  
“Seriously, if you’re that worried, just go down and talk to her.” This was the longest week of Grif’s life.

  
“No, she said she would call. I feel stupid going down to ask.”

  
“But you’ll sit here, staring down that phone like a loser? At what point don’t you look stupid?”

  
“Shut up, this is important.” He continued to stare at the phone.

Grif shook his head, there wasn’t even a baby yet, he had nine more months to look forward to. He’d never make it.

  
Dex missed playing with Simmons. He picked up one of his picture books and climbed up on his lap. “Hi daddy!”

  
Simmons smiled. “Hi buddy.” He cuddled him close.

  
Dex held up his book. “Read to me.”

Simmons was so proud. All the reading he’d done when the baby was little was paying off. Dex was growing up to love books.

  
“Okay, which one you got there?”

  
“Outer space.” He was already fascinated by astrology.

  
“Which planet’s your favorite?”

  
“Mars!”

Simmons helped Dex memorize the planet names, and he remembered them. It was a proud dad moment.

  
He started reading, that’s when the phone rang. Damn, he couldn’t just stop reading. Dex needed the attention.

  
“Grif, would you grab that?”

  
“You’ve been waiting all week for that damn call and now you’re gonna miss it?”

  
“Come on, I have the baby, answer it for me.”

  
“All right, but only because of Dex.”

  
Simmons kept reading even though his mind was elsewhere. These little moments with his son wouldn’t last forever, he wanted to enjoy it. He finished reading.

  
“That was good, thanks daddy.”

  
“Anytime buddy.”

  
Dex went off to find something else to play with.

  
“That was Dr. Grey on the phone?” He was suddenly nervous.

  
“Yep, it’s baby time, tomorrow morning. It’s official.” He noticed the terrified look on Simmons’ face. “You do want this right?”

  
“Yes, of course. I just get nervous. Are you ready for it though? That’s why I’m so nervous, if you weren’t ready, you still wouldn’t tell me.”

  
Grif appreciated the thought.

“Very seriously, yes and no. If you didn’t force me the first time, we never would have Dex. You and him are the loves of my life. So I’ll say yes, because this time I think I am ready.”

  
Simmons’ face lit up. He needed to hear this. “Okay, no going back. It’s official.”

  
Grif felt oddly at peace. “Yep, it’s official.”

  
“I will need you to at least pick me up afterwards. It’s not exactly a surgery, but I won’t be able to drive.”

  
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ll be there the whole time. If I’m allowed back with you, I’ll be with you.”

  
Simmons got choked up, he didn’t expect that. “Thanks, I didn’t want to bother you with it. I know you hate the hospital.”

  
Grif shrugged it off. “It’s okay. We can see if Wash and Tucker will watch Dex again. Afterwards, we can go out for dinner or something if you feel okay.”

  
He tried to pass it off like it wasn’t a big deal. But he really wanted alone time with his husband. He hoped he would say yes.

  
Simmons felt the tears coming. “Wow, that’s a great idea. We haven’t been out together in ages. At least without Dex. I really won’t feel like cooking anything.”

  
“Maybe after Dex goes to sleep, I’ll plan a movie night for myself. I’ll pop some popcorn, make a night out of it.”

  
“Oh really, what are you watching?”

  
“Maybe some Star Wars. I thought I’d put on Empire, which just happens to be some sci-fi nerd I know’s favorite movie.”

  
“That does sound like someone you know.”

  
“Yeah, So If he wanted to join me on the couch, I’m gonna be there…”

  
Simmons smiled. “Since you’re watching it anyway, I may as well join you.”

  
“Good, but be warned, I’m not sharing my popcorn.”

  
“Yeah, I kind of figured that.”

  
Grif passed it all off as a joke, but he was relieved when Simmons said yes. He was always busy, always had excuses, he never had time for Grif. With a new baby, there would be less time. He hated that he had to feel this nervous to ask his husband out on a date.

  
He hadn’t been this nervous since he proposed.  


  



	6. Chapter 6

 

“Do you feel anything yet?”

  
“Damnit Grif, you’ve been asking that everyday for almost two weeks, and you’re answer is still no. We don’t even know if there is a baby yet.”

  
“You did get sick the first morning though.”

  
“That could have been from the hormone shots, I haven’t been sick since. This takes time, so relax.”

  
“Oh yeah, then how come you started cleaning out the playroom to make a nursery?”

  
“I was cleaning out some of the junk that Dex doesn’t need anymore.”

  
“Bullshit, then how come I found a baby name book by your nightstand?”

  
“I was interested in learning what our names meant... Oh shut up, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared, so leave me alone.”

  
Grif won the argument. “When will you know for sure?

  
“Four more days. I’m scared and excited all at once. I want it, and I’m terrified of it.”

  
“You went through it once, you’ll be fine.”

  
“Yeah, definitely.”

  
About 3am, he was in the bathroom getting sick. He was so bad, it woke up Grif. He found him kneeling on the floor, completely pale and sweat running down his face. He was too scared to move.

  
Grif knelt down with a towel and wiped his face. “You don’t look good. Do you think you can move?”

  
He nodded, too afraid to talk. He let Grif help him back to bed. Only then did he find the strength to talk.

“That’s the last time you pick what we have for dinner. I told you the French fries were a bad idea.”

  
“I ate them too and I didn’t get sick.”

  
“I can’t handle a lot of fried foods. I should have known better.”

  
“You seem better now. Try to go back to sleep.” He started snoring right away.

  
At 7am, he had a similar attack. “Great, I probably have a stomach flu. If there is a baby, I don’t want to put it in danger.”

  
He called Dr. Grey, and she was able to squeeze him in to check him over. Grif just shook his head at his overdramatizing.

  
“I would rather be safe than sorry. Keep an eye on Dex. I won’t be long.”

  
Dr. Grey wasn’t very busy, she was able to take Simmons right back to the examining room. “All rightee, lay down and let’s find out what’s going on.”

  
It felt like forever. Every worst case scenario ran through his mind. The worry led to a panic attack and that’s all he needed. He envisioned that would come back and tell him he lost the baby. He couldn’t handle all this stress.

  
“Congratulations, it’s a baby. Too soon to tell what kind, but I guarantee it’s human. There’s a strong heartbeat, so everything’s fine. There’s no stomach flu, so you’re both fine. You know the routine, I’ll schedule in for a month from now. Go home and get some rest. You’ll be feeling better in no time.”

  
He went home feeling better than when the day started. Grif was in the kitchen making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He offered one to Simmons, but he made a face.

  
“Well you look better, so I assume you’re not dying.”

  
“No it’s not the flu, it’s just because of a baby, the procedure worked out.” He was happy, but still felt overwhelmed.

  
“That’s great, right?”

  
“Yeah, totally great.”

  
He barely made it to the bedroom before getting sick again. It wasn’t as bad as earlier, but it left him drained.

  
Grif came in. “You said you never got sick with Dex, I wonder why you are now?”

  
“I don’t know.” He tried sipping on some water. “I must have lucked out the first time, it’s sure making up for it now.” He turned white again and threw up the water he drank.

  
Grif had his hands on his shoulders so he wouldn’t pass out. He helped get Simmons to the bed where it was safer.

  
“I’m going to nap for a little bit. Maybe this feeling will go away.”

He stretched out, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. He wanted the dizzy feeling to go away.

  
“Do you need me to bring you anything?” Grif looked worried about him.

  
“No thanks, just some quiet.”

  
“You got it.”

He turned off the light and shut the door. He spent the rest of the day playing with the baby so Simmons could rest.

  
Every once in a while, he quietly opened the door to check on Simmons. He looked like he was in a deep, peaceful sleep, so Grif let him be. He stayed like that most of the day.

  
Simmons was woken up by a small tugging at his sleeve. He could hardly open his eyes. When he did, he saw Dex pulling at his sleeve and loudly whispering. “Are you up?”

  
Simmons tried to smile at him , but it took too much energy. “Yeah, I am now buddy.”

  
“Dex, I said to wait. Sorry, I didn’t know you were still asleep.”

  
“No, it’s okay. What time is it?”

  
“It’s late, it’s almost his bedtime. I promised him he could say goodnight to you.”

  
“I made this.” He handed Simmons a purple scribbled picture.

  
“He wanted to get you a real flower to help you feel better, so he drew you one.”

  
He lifted Dex up beside him in the bed. He gave him a hug. “Aww, I love it. I feel better already.” He cuddled him closer to him. Dex also brought a book with him.

  
“I can read to you.”

  
“Oh really, you can read now?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
He was too young, he had no idea how to read, but he faked it. He made the story up as he went along. By the time he was done, it made no sense, but he was so proud of himself that he could read to his dad.

  
“Really great job.”

  
Grif had curled up on the other side of Simmons. “We figured since you couldn’t come to us, we’d come to you.”

  
“I’m glad you did.”

  
They moved the baby to the middle of the bed, and the three slept there all night.

  
Grif held Simmons’ hand all night, he was too afraid to let go. He wanted to keep him safe.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

  
Simmons woke early in the morning, he had a little morning sickness, but nothing like yesterday. He could handle that. He quietly snuck back to the bedroom, trying not to wake his family up.

  
Dex had been laying asleep in Grif’s arms. He looked up when Simmons slipped back in bed. His curly hair was all over the place from sleeping.

  
Simmons reached over and tried to smooth it down, but it was as bad as Grif’s. “Morning buddy.” He whispered so he wouldn’t wake Grif.

  
“Morning daddy.” His whispering was too loud, he hadn’t mastered the skill of being quiet.

  
Simmons wanted to see if he could keep any food down. “Want to have breakfast with me?”

  
“Yeah!” He had a big smile. Like Grif, that kid never missed a meal. He carried him out to the kitchen so Grif could sleep.

  
He made him a bowl of cereal and unlike Grif, encouraged him to eat some fruit. He did enjoy strawberries. Simmons kept it safe and tried dry toast.

  
He was heating some water to make a cup of tea when Grif wandered in. He hated when he had work in the mornings. He was barely awake.

  
He looked over at Simmons’ breakfast. “Wow, that looks good.”

  
“Shut up, I’m trying to eat something.”

  
“Still feeling sick?”

  
“Not too much, it’s getting better. You want me to make you anything to eat?”

  
“Nah, I’ll make cereal. I’m too tired to care.” He planted a kiss on Simmons’ head as he walked past. “Are you working today?”

  
“Yes, I’m trying to keep a normal schedule going. It’ll be easier that way.”

  
“When do you go back to the doctors?”

  
“Only once a month unless something else happens.” He crossed his fingers. “I don’t want to go through that again.

  
The next few months passed by uneventfully. Simmons was determined to fix the playroom up as the nursery. He had issues getting Dex to part with it.

  
He had two separate piles of toys. “Dex, this pile of toys we can put in your toy box. These toys we can give to the new baby when it comes.”

  
Dex got quiet and looked at Simmons with a stubborn look on his face. “That’s my toys.”

  
“These are baby toys. You’re a big boy now, you don’t play with them. You could be nice and share with the baby.”

  
“No, that’s mine.”

  
Simmons sighed, he knew Dex was too agreeable in the beginning.

  
“I’ll make a deal with you. If you share with the toys with the baby, I’ll buy you a new big boy toy.”

  
Dex thought it over. “Okay, can I get a car?”

  
“Yes, you can.” He was too tired to fuss with this.

  
Grif came in the playroom. “Nothing like bribing him there. It’s real good parenting.”

  
“Hey, this kid has been really good through the whole new baby issue. I think he deserves something out of it.” Simmons had an edge to his voice.

  
Dex hated seeing his parents argue. He looked kind of concerned.  
“Daddy, you can have my new car.”

He didn’t want Simmons to be mad. His anger melted away. He put his arm around Dex.

  
“It’s okay, you can get your car. Thank you for being a good boy for me.”

  
Dex looked at Grif to see if it was okay. He ruffled his hair. “It’s alright dude. You deserve it.”

  
“Want to put your toys away in the toy box for me?”

  
He looked happy. “Sure daddy.”

  
Simmons looked around at the rest of the mess he had to clean up. “Donut has been driving me crazy about wanting to decorate the nursery. I’m afraid we’re going to have to let him do it.”

  
“Oh lord, the way he goes crazy decorating, it won’t match anything in the house. But so help me, if decorates with one damned clown, I will hurt him badly.”

  
“He wants to start decorating it soon, we don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl. Do we even want to know?”

  
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter that much. We got a boy, so if we had a girl, it’s one of each. But then how the hell are we gonna raise a girl? You can’t even talk to any, so we’d be pretty lost.”

  
Simmons had to laugh at his logic. “All right, we’ll figure that out later. Can you move the dresser against the wall for me?”

  
“Why not leave it where it is?”

  
“Because that will make the room seem larger if we move it.”

  
“It looks fine where it is.”

  
“Oh my god, do we want me to do it myself and hurt the baby?”

  
“Fine, you’re so damn crabby. Move out of my way.” He gently pushed him out of his way.

  
Now Simmons knew how to get Grif to do work. “Thank you honey.” He could barely keep a straight face.

  
Grif glared at him. “You’re welcome sweetie. I really hate you.”

  
For now, life was normal.

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

At three months in, Simmons had a sonogram planned. He hated these appointments, but not as much as Grif did.

He sat back in a chair, getting bored waiting for the doctor to come. He got up and rummaged around on the counters.

  
“Grif, stop that.”

  
“Ah-ha, I knew she was holding out on me.” He found a container of lollipops. He grabbed a orange one.

  
“Oh god, I can’t take you anywhere.”

  
“Hey, I warned you about that. Can we hurry this up, I don’t want to be here.”  
  
“You don’t want to see your baby?”

  
“There’s not much to see, it looks like a blob shape. That’s not exactly a kid.”

  
Simmons groaned as Dr. Grey came in. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Let’s get on with baby time.”

  
Simmons winced. “That gel is cold.” He had a small baby bump starting.

  
“I can’t believe you’re getting fat already.”

  
“Well what’s your excuse, fat ass? I don’t even see how, I can hardly eat anything.”  
  
“Okayee, found the baby. He looks pretty big and his heartbeat is nice and strong.”

  
“‘He’, can you tell it’s a boy already ?”

  
“No, it’s too soon. It’s starting to look like a baby and I felt funny calling it an ‘it’.”

  
Grif looked at the screen with interest, though he pretended not to care. The little shape was starting to look like a baby. He wondered if it looked like Simmons.

  
“Wait a minute, there’s something weird here.”

  
“What! Is something wrong with the baby, is something wrong with me?” Another panic attack was building.

  
“Chill out, quit being a loser. It’s probably nothing.” His heart dropped, what if something did happen?

  
“No…oh my goodness, there’s a second baby.” She pointed lower on the screen. “It’s down here, there’s a second heartbeat.”

  
Grif was in shock. “No way!”

  
Simmons was actually happy. “Wow!, well we just have to plan for two now.”

  
“That’s the trouble.”

  
“Financially, it’ll be a hassle, we’ll have to buy two of everything. But I think I can make the budget work.”

  
“That’s not what I meant. Having twins is not going to be easy on your body, none of this is natural for a man . I don’t even know if it would work.”

  
Simmons’ voice faltered. “What exactly do you mean here?” He was afraid to ask it.

  
“You need the hormone shots every month just so you can carry the baby. Since there’s two babies, the one shot may not be enough for both.”

  
“Couldn’t I take two then, one for each of them?”

  
“Possibly, I’m not sure what that much would do to you. You could end up with nothing or end up having a heart attack. No one knows.”

  
His voice cracked, he couldn’t keep the tears back. “What am I supposed to do?”

  
Grif came up to sit beside him on the edge of the cot. He put both arms around him, he knew Simmons needed him, but he needed Simmons just as much.

  
“We have three options. You can continue taking one shot and hope it works for both. This increases your odds of a miscarriage, and if so, you’ll lose both of them, and put yourself at risk.You can try two shots which will keep the babies safer, but you already know the risks to that.”

  
Grif felt himself getting choked up. “I hope you got a better third option, cause your first two really suck.”

  
“Yes I do. It’s better to abort the smaller baby and give the stronger one a better chance, and it’s easier on you. It’s your choice, that’s all I got.”

  
“I vote for the third option. We planned on one kid, that’s what we would get.”

  
“No, you can’t choose which one lives or dies. I can’t live myself if I do that.” Simmons’ panic elevated.

  
“Well damnit, I can’t live without you. Dex can’t live without you. You’re too important to us.”

  
He got quiet. “Grif, you got to understand. I’m looking at the two babies on the screen. Those are my babies, both of them. I’m going to take a chance on two shots and let fate decide. This way maybe all three of can be okay.”

  
“You can’t be serious, this could kill you.”

  
Grey stepped in. “Not necessarily, his body takes really well to the shots, he’s healthy. It might be okay.”

  
“Yeah, ‘might’. I don’t know about this.”

  
“Grif, all I ask is to trust me. It’s the right choice, no matter what happens. You got to promise me, always put the kids over me.”

  
Grif’s heart stopped beating. “No way, I ain’t doing that. I’m picking you.”

  
He put his hands on the sides of Grif’s face. “No please, put the kids first, promise me. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

  
How can I handle this? He brushed the tears off his face.

“I swear, you better know what you’re doing.”  



	9. Chapter 9

 

They rode in silence all the way home. They had to pick Dex up, he was playing with Chloe. Grif claimed he wasn’t crying, but kept sniffling. Simmons glanced over to see him wiping the tears away with his sleeve.

  
When they got to Wash and Tucker’s, Simmons grabbed ahold of his arm. “Once we get in there, no more tears. We can’t let Dex know what’s going on.”

  
“Wouldn’t it be best to be honest with him?”

  
“No, I don’t think, not about there being a risk to me. He’s too young to understand, it would scare him. All I’m going to tell him is there are two babies. This way he’s prepared. Don’t let him see you’re upset.”

Very quietly he added. “I don’t want you to be upset.”

  
He turned to look at Simmons as he wiped away the last of his tears. “Then don’t leave me.”

  
“I never will.”

He wiped away his own tears and got out to see his son. He really needed the distraction now. He could hear Chloe and Dex screaming and having fun from the fenced in yard.

  
Wash heard them pull up and invited them back. “You’re right in time, Tucker was teaching them football. Dex loves it.”

  
Watching his son running to try to keep up with Chloe, made Grif smile.

“Now I gotta get him a football so we can toss it around together. I haven’t played in ages.”

  
Tucker shouted over. “Then come play now, the kids want you to.”

  
“Grif actually running, I didn’t think that could happen. He’s so out of shape, he won’t last long.” At least Simmons could smile and forget his trouble, for a few seconds anyway.

The stress must have showed on his face. Wash looked at him closely.

  
“What’s wrong?”

  
“I didn’t say anything was wrong.

  
“You don’t have to, I can see it in your face. I’m an old pro, I know all about worrying.”

  
If anyone could help, it would be Wash. “Yes, I didn’t get very good news.” He couldn’t help it, he broke down crying and couldn’t stop.

  
Grif looked over, all concerned. He saw Simmons go into the house with Wash. He would take care of him. Grif couldn’t even help himself.

  
He busied himself showing Dex how to throw the football.

  
Wash made a pot of tea and sat with Simmons at the kitchen table. He put the cups in front of them and listened to the whole story.

  
He leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers through his blond hair. He took in a deep breath, he wasn’t sure what to tell him.

  
Simmons laid his head down on the table. “No matter what choice I make, it’s terrible. I’m surprised Grif doesn’t hate me. At least if something happens, he has Dex to hang onto. I give up.”

  
“Wow, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m glad I adopted my kid. I don’t have the courage to go through this like you do.”

  
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

  
“In your heart, do you believe you made the right choice?”

  
Simmons lifted his head, looked straight into Wash’s clear blue eyes and thought about it for a second. “Yes, I really believe I did.”

  
“Then go with it, sometimes that’s the best you can do. I believe in you.”

  
“Thanks Wash, I needed that.”

  
The kids came barging in through the door. Chloe tripped Dex a little bit so she could get in the door first. “I win.”

  
“Did not.” Dex didn’t fall, but he did go down to one knee.

  
Wash saw what happened. “Chloe.” He used his military dad voice. He gave her a stern look and raised his eyebrow.

  
She knew better. “Sorry Dex.” She reached out and helped him up. She gave him a big smile to show they were still friends.

  
“‘K’.” He returned the smile.

  
Even Simmons had to chuckle at those two. “Amazing, they can work out their own problems.”

  
Tucker and Grif came in next. They were as loud as the kids. Grif was gasping for breath.

  
When he could talk. “Now I know why I don’t play football anymore.”

  
Tucker smirked “ Because you totally suck at it?”

  
“No, it’s way too much work.”

  
Simmons rolled his eyes at him. “You going to be okay there?”

  
He was still gasping. “I think so. I got this.” His breathing was going back to normal. “See, I’m good.”

  
Tucker went to open up the freezer. “I promised the kids they could have a popsicle after playtime.” He pulled out the box. “What flavor do you want guys?”

  
Chloe shouted, “Green!” As soon as Dex said the same thing.

  
“Okay, green it is.” Tucker searched through the box. “Great, there’s only one green one left.”

  
Wash went over to Chloe. “Dex is your guest, you should let him have it.” She didn’t look happy.

  
Simmons felt bad for her. “Dex, you like all the flavors, you can pick something else. It’s not a big deal.” His face was set in its stubborn pose. He didn’t want to give in either.

  
Grif knew how to end it. “I call dibs on the green popsicle, both of you pick another color.” He actually took it from Tucker.

  
Tucker rebounded. “Okay, new game plan, you both get red.” He handed them out both at the same time.

  
“Thank you Uncle Tucker.” Dex didn’t have to be reminded. Simmons was so proud.

  
“You’re welcome little dude.”

  
Simmons checked his watch. “As soon as you two finish your popsicles, we got to get home. Dex, I’ve got news for you.”

  
“Okay daddy.” He was trying to keep up with the popsicle that was melting down his arm.

Simmons cringed, he was going to be all sticky. He imagined two more kids, just like Dex. It made him smile.

  
He really wanted those kids, more than anything in the world.  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

 

When they got home, Simmons threw a frozen lasagna in the oven to bake and tried to think of what to tell Dex about the twins.

Grif was in no condition to help.  
As soon as Simmons brought the subject up, he turned pale and refused to discuss it.

He hid away to the sanctuary of his bedroom. He flopped down on the bed and buried his face in his pillow. He couldn’t cry. He never felt so dead inside.

  
Simmons found Dex sitting on the floor in his bedroom, happily playing with the big red car he and Grif recently bought him.

  
“Wanna play with me?” His smile was so sweet and innocent, it helped heal some of Simmons’ pain.

  
“Sure. I got a few things I have to tell you, I think you can understand.”

Dex was busy driving one of his smaller cars over Simmons’ arm. He didn’t think the kid was even listening.

  
“You know how me and your dad were bringing home a new baby in a few months? There will be two instead of one.” I hope. “Are you Okay with that?”

  
“Can I play with them and show all my neat toys?”

  
“Sure, when they get a little bigger, they’d love to play with you.”

  
“‘K’, then I’m happy. Will daddy come play with me?” Dex knew something was wrong.

  
“Not right now, he’s not feeling too well. Maybe later. Dinner will be ready soon, start cleaning up your cars.”

  
He went to the bedroom to check on Grif. He was still passed out on the bed, Simmons wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or not. He poked his shoulder.

  
“What?” His voice was muffled by the pillow.

  
“Are you feeling okay?”

  
“Never better.” He still didn’t turn around. He wasn’t in a talking mood.

  
“Dinner’s almost ready if you want any.”

  
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

  
The mood was strained at the dinner table. Dex knew something was wrong. He kept looking at both his dads, trying to figure out what it was.

  
Simmons could still hardly eat anything. He set his plate on the counter, practically untouched and started straightening up the kitchen. Grif noticed and tried not to worry.

  
“You want me to help with that?”

  
“No thanks, there’s not much to do. You could go in and play with Dex. He’s noticing something’s up.”

  
“Yeah, I saw that. You’re okay? You need to eat more than you have been.”

  
“Yes, I’m fine. I still get a little sick, it’ll get easier.”

  
Grif lingered for a moment. He didn’t want to leave him alone. Simmons went back to wiping down the counter, so Grif figured he was okay.

  
When Simmons finished the kitchen, he went to straighten up the bedroom. He reached down to rearrange Grif’s pillow. He found something sticking out underneath it.

  
Dr. Grey had printed them out a few copies of the twins’ first sonogram. Grif had tucked one of the copies under his pillow.

Beside it was Simmons’ dog tags from when he was full time Army. He hadn’t seen them in ages. Grif must have had them the whole time.

  
Grif walked in the room in time to see Simmons with them. He face turned red. “Shit, I didn’t want you to know about that.”

  
“You were against having two babies, why did you keep their picture?”

  
He couldn’t look at Simmons. “Maybe I really do want both of them, and maybe I want to keep you more.” He kept looking down at the floor. He hated talking about his problems.

  
Simmons sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for Grif. “Come here, you don’t like talking, but we have to do this.”

  
Grif sighed over dramatically and rolled his eyes, but he sat beside his husband. He leaned against him and put his head on his shoulder. He didn’t want to get into this.

  
Simmons laid his cheek in Grif’s black, curly hair, and tried to figure on how to start this. “You know I talked to Wash today?”

  
“Uh-Huh.”

  
“The best advice he could give me  
was to follow my judgement. And I trust him, he knows what he’s talking about. So I know I made the right decision.”

  
“I know, I’m just scared. It’s all these what ifs.”

  
“We’ll get through that when and if it happens. We’ll get through it together.”

  
He really believed in that.


	11. Chapter 11

 

Two more months went by pretty quietly. There were hardly any days where Simmons didn’t feel sick. Every day, he had to force food down. He was surprised he could gain any weight.

  
He tried to act like he was fine, for Grif’s sake, but Grif caught the act. For him, it was two more months of worrying.

  
At five months, Simmons had another sonogram planned. All these things did was worry him, he wished he could skip it. As usual, Grif was with him. He would hardly ever leave him alone.

  
At first, Simmons was flattered by the sentiment, but now after five months, his temper kept getting shorter. He wanted time by himself. The doctor visits were the one time he needed him.

  
As usual, Dr. Grey came through the door with her usual enthusiasm. “Hey guys, all excited over baby time!” She turned around too quickly and knocked over her own equipment. “Oops, So clumsy!”

  
Simmons helped her pick them up, before he settled down on the hospital cot.

  
She beamed at him as she got the gel ready for the sonogram machine. “Thank you hon!”

  
Grif rolled his eyes. “You suck up.”

  
Simmons whacked his arm. “Shut up.” But he was able to smile about it.

  
She looked carefully up at the screen, trying to find the babies.

“All rightee, here we go. This one is the larger twin, it’s looking all good. Let me find the second one…okay, it’s getting bigger. Guess the shots are working. How have been feeling?”

  
Simmons was honest. “It’s still hard to eat. It feels like normal morning sickness, only more extreme. I hardly got sick at all with Dex.”

  
She nodded. “It’s hard to tell if it’s from the shots or the kids. No two pregnancies will be the same. So far, you’re at least gaining weight and the babies look healthy. That’s a good sign.”

  
Grif felt relieved, like he could breath again. He was all tensed up with worry. The doctor thought Simmons was fine, that was good enough for him.

  
She went back to looking at the screen. “You wanna know what you guys got here?”

  
“Babies, I hope.” Grif had been too quiet, Simmons was missing his sarcasm.

  
Grey laughed way too loud. “Yeah, how’d ya guess? And they’re human ones too, I made sure of that for you.” She hit Simmons in the arm. “He is so much fun. I know why you like him.”

  
It worried him that she would be delivering his children. He felt like he needed to laugh along to humor the crazy lady.

  
“Would you boys like to know if they’re boys or girls? Cause I can tell you.”

  
Simmons looked at Grif. “We never finished discussing it. For Dex I chose to be surprised, but I don’t know. What do you think?”

  
“I think we may as well know. They both seem healthy, it shouldn’t hurt.”

  
She smiled. “This is so exciting. The bigger one there is a boy. And the surprise baby is a little girl. You got one of each. Congratulations!”

  
For once, Grif had no comments. He stared at the screen, it was weird to be looking at his kids. He especially focused on his daughter.

  
Only two months ago, he would have voted to get rid of her, now he was looking at her. Tears formed in his eyes. He tried to wipe them away fast. He felt like the worst parent in the world.

  
Simmons was fixated on the screen, he didn’t notice. He was in awe as he watched his son and daughter. All the times he was sick, all the worry he felt, right now it didn’t matter. They were worth it.

  
Grey broke the silence. “I can assume you’re feeling them move around by now?”

  
Simmons had to clear his voice, he was on the verge of crying. “Oh yeah, especially at night. By the time one of them sleeps, the other twin acts up. I can hardly get any sleep.”

  
Grif was surprised, Simmons never told him the babies were kicking yet. Wonder what else he wasn’t being honest about? He sulked about it all the way home.

  
Simmons knew Grif’s brooding quiet when he heard it. “All right, what is your problem now?”

  
“Why didn’t you tell me the babies were kicking?” He was in a pouting mood.

  
“They just starting doing it. It doesn’t happen very often, it’s mostly at night. I didn’t even think of it until Dr. Grey brought it up. You don’t have to be mad about it.”

  
“I’m not mad, I’m hurt. There’s a big difference.”

  
He sometimes felt like Grif was more of the child than Dex was. He threw his arms around Grif and gave him an over dramatic kiss.

“There, you feel better?”

  
Grif made a face and pretended he hated it. “Eww, why am I being punished? I have nerd germs.”

But he needed it, now more than ever. Over halfway through the baby drama, and Simmons was still okay.

  
He needed to keep Simmons safe for four more months.

  



	12. Chapter 12

 

At seven months in, Simmons was really feeling it. Whatever patience he started out with was almost gone. He was always prone to anger management issues, now it was worse.

  
He nitpicked at everything Grif tried to do. Poor Grif couldn’t wait for the next two months to be over. He wanted his husband back.

  
Grif was good at cooking, way better than Simmons ever was. It was like his secret talent. But he rarely cooked anything, usually he flat out refused. Cooking was so much damn work. Eating it was way easier.

  
For that reason, Simmons handled all the cooking. By the time Grif would be done tasting and sampling everything, Simmons and Dex would starve to death. It was easier this way.

  
Simmons found it hard to handle the cooking when he never felt like eating. Grif thought he would be nice and help out with dinner. Dex wanted hamburgers, so that’s what he was making.

  
Donut had been over everyday in the last week, determined to decorate the nursery. He was driving Simmons crazy.

  
“Now I’m decorating for a boy and a girl, we have to split the room up.”

  
Simmons had enough. “Damnit Donut, that room is too small for two babies as it is. We don’t have extra room or money to pull that off. Change your plans to a more neutral theme.”

  
Donut whined. “I can’t be creative with your stale ideas. Your kids will grow up to be as boring as you.”

  
Grif could barely hold back a chuckle. Usually Donut drove him crazy, he loved to see it happen to other people. Simmons glared at him.

  
“It’s either my way or you’re not decorating the room at all. Take your pick.”

  
Donut huffed. “Fine, you’re such a bitch to everyone. I’ll do it your way. I think I have a new idea. I’ll pick up some material and finish it tomorrow morning. Don’t worry, I will return.”

  
“Yep, that’s what we’re all afraid of.” Grif had been listening to Donut’s theatrics with amusement.

  
“God, I can’t stand him. He’s driving me nuts over that nursery.”

  
“That’s what you get for telling him he could do it. It’s fucking Donut, what did you expect?”

  
Simmons noticed the mess in his kitchen. “What are you trying to do here?”

  
Grif raided the spice rack, trying to find the right seasonings he needed for his famous burgers and he left the wrapper from the meat lying out on the counter.

  
“Sorry, I got distracted from the side show. I’ll clean it up.”

  
“What are you making?”

  
“Dex wanted hamburgers, so I was going to cook for you. Will you be joining us?”

  
Simmons felt so worn out. He was on his feet way too long today.

“No, I don’t think I can. I need to lie down for a while.”

  
“Okay, I’ll save you a burger.”

  
“Make sure you clean this all up.”

  
“Of course I will.”

  
Yeah right, he’ll forget. Simmons stretched out on the bed and just wanted to sleep. The next thing he realized was the smell of smoke. Oh god, he began to panic.

  
Out in the kitchen, he saw Grif trying to salvage his burnt hamburgers. They were beyond saving, so he threw them away.

  
“Are you trying to burn the house down?”

  
“I stepped away from the stove for too long, so sue me. I can make more burgers.”

  
“Yeah right, let’s waste more money that we don’t have. Your junk food addiction takes a lot of the grocery budget as it is.”

  
“Excuse me, if you’d stop yelling at me, maybe I wouldn’t need the junk food so much.”

  
“If I wasn’t carrying your twins, maybe I wouldn’t yell all the time.”

  
“It was your idea, not mine.” He regretted it as soon as he said it. He wanted the kids as much as Simmons did.

  
Dex came running out of his room, holding one of his cars that had a broken wheel. He started tugging on Simmons’ arm. It was the wrong time.

  
“Daddy, fix this. Daddy, fix this.” He kept tugging at his sleeve.

  
“In a minute, Dex.” He took in a deep breath to try to calm down.

  
“But daddy, can’t you fix this?”

  
“I said in a minute!”

He never yelled at Dex that loud. The baby got quiet, his big brown eyes got wide and they filled with tears. For the first time ever, he acted afraid of Simmons.

  
“Way to go, you jerk. He’s just a baby, he doesn’t know any better.” Grif left him to check on Dex.

  
Simmons’ eyes filled with their own tears. He shut himself away in the bedroom, and cried his heart out. He never yelled at his son, he never needed to. What was wrong with him?

  
Grif settled with Dex in the living room recliner and held him as he cried.

“Daddy doesn’t like me.”

  
“Yes he does, he loves you kiddo. He’s not himself right now. Give him a few more months.”

  
Dex continued to cry. He wanted Simmons. After a while, he cried himself to sleep. Grif carefully carried him up to bed. Then he had to find Simmons. His depression issues couldn’t handle this crap.

  
He knocked on the door, but Simmons wouldn’t answer.

“Ignore me if you want, but I’m coming in.”

  
Simmons was covered under the bedspread, his face buried in his pillow. He was still crying. He wouldn’t look at Grif.

  
Grif stretched out beside him, pulled the blanket back from his face. Only then did Simmons acknowledge he was there.

“He hates me, doesn’t me?” He looked up at Grif, his eyes all red and swollen.

  
“No, he doesn’t. I know you can’t help it, but you can’t yell at him like that. But he’s okay, he’ll forget all about it.”

  
Simmons started crying again. Grif didn’t know what to do, so he just held him and kissed his cheek. He didn’t even remember falling asleep.

  
Simmons slipped out of bed to check on Dex. He couldn’t sleep until he knew he was okay. Dex was curled up in his bed, half asleep, crying softly.

  
Simmons went to his bed and whispered “I’m so sorry honey, I didn’t mean it.”

Dex raised his head, tears streaming down his face. Simmons grabbed a tissue and wiped away his tears.

He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked his hair to help him fall back asleep. Dex wanted to be held.

  
Simmons slipped in bed beside him. “It’s okay honey, I’m here.” He held him until he fell asleep. Before he realized it, he fell asleep beside him.

  
Grif got up in the middle of the night to check on them both. He found them curled up together in Dex’s tiny bed. They were so cute, it made him smile. He covered them up with a blanket and went back to bed.

  
Two more months to go, and he prayed he could make it.

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

Simmons and Grif made it to eight months. They were still fighting over the babies’ names. Simmons needed their names to be just right, but nothing seemed to match.

  
“They’re babies, they’re not gonna know the difference.” Grif was tired of it. “You keep changing your mind every five minutes; I don’t know my own name is at this point. Wait until they’re born, we’ll know then what their names should be.”

  
Simmons slammed the baby name book shut and threw into the drawer in his nightstand.

“You’re right, none of those names fit.” He pulled back the bedspread and got settled in for bed.

  
“Your doctor’s appointment is tomorrow?”

  
“Yes, it should be one of the last ones. Dr. Grey didn’t like how the girl baby was positioned. I’m worried about her.”

  
The stress got his heart rate up. The babies reacted to it, and started kicking him like crazy. He reacted to it, he could hardly catch his breath.

  
“Oh my god, is it happening? What do I do? Do we go to the hospital?”

  
“Grif, Calm down. I’m not in labor, both of them are attacking me. Chill out.”

  
“Oh, thank goodness, I couldn’t handle it if you were in labor.”

  
“It’s going to happen eventually. What are you going to do then?”

  
“Panic the same damn way I just did. My anxiety can’t take it. Doesn’t that feel weird?”

  
“It did at first, now I’m used to it.”  
He took each of Grif’s hands to where the two babies were so he could feel them.

  
“That’s cool. They’re really hyper.”

  
“They get upset when I get upset.”

  
“You think they’ll like me?”

  
“Of course they will. Dex adores you.”

  
“Do you like me?”

  
Simmons fought to keep a straight face. “No, I merely tolerate you. If you’ll shut up and go to sleep, I’ll like you a lot more.”

  
In the morning, Simmons once again found himself at the mercy of Dr. Grey. This was his first appointment without Grif, he had to work.

  
Simmons was waiting to hear the verdict on his daughter. He hated this part, he wanted his baby to be okay.

  
Dr. Grey frowned when looking at the screen. “Well, she moved a little bit, but not enough for me to feel better about her delivery. If her umbilical cord shifts, she could be strangled by it.”

  
“Are we going to plan for an early delivery?” His heart was pounding, he felt like it would break.

  
“I would rather give them as much time as possible. Twins in general are smaller and more prone to health problems than single babies. Yours are a good size and healthy. Your daughter has a chance.”

  
Simmons didn’t feel any better. His pulse wouldn’t slow down.

  
“Let’s give her another week to see if she moves some more. You’re already past eight months, if I have to get the babies out in a hurry, they would be fine. I don’t think you can hold them in much longer anyway.”

  
She tried to be encouraging, but he still didn’t feel right about it. He was scared something would happen. Even safely at home, he couldn’t relax. He felt so nervous.

  
All the stress was getting to him, and he was on his feet too much today. His neck and back were killing him. He had to sit down, the room felt like it was spinning .

  
He didn’t have the strength to pick Dex up. He and Chloe were playing when Simmons went over earlier. He wanted to stay longer, so Simmons let him. Grif would have to pick him up.

  
Grif came home to find Simmons relaxing on the couch with an ice pack on his neck. He didn’t look good.

  
“Did you have a rough day?”

  
“Yeah, I’m scared. The baby didn’t move much, she could be strangled by her umbilical cord. Now I’m really worried about her.”

  
Grif felt like an ice cold shot went down him. His own kid could die. The same one that five months ago, he said to get rid of.

He felt like he was in a nightmare. His eyes stung with tears. He stared down at the floor, he couldn’t even look at his husband.

  
Simmons looked over. “Grif, are you all right?”

  
“No, I am the worst parent ever. I’m the one who wanted to get rid of her. Now she may die.” The tears ran down his face. “I really want my kid.”

  
Simmons wanted to go to him, but the room was still spinning.

“Damnit Grif, you think you were the only one who thought that. It crossed my mind too and I feel guilty. That doesn’t matter. All that matters now is to do what it takes to save her.”

  
Grif went to sit beside him on the couch and took ahold of his hand. Simmons really didn’t look good, it scared him even more. He cuddled up against him, he wanted to keep all three of them safe.

  
Simmons’ heart rate had sped up again, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. When the first sharp pain hit him, he nearly doubled over. Grif caught on pretty quick. His grip on Simmons tightened.

  
When Simmons could talk again, he calmly gave the orders to Grif. “Call Wash, see if Dex can stay over with them, I don’t want him getting scared. Then call Dr. Grey, this is for real.”

  
Grif jumped off the couch. “Oh god, oh god. How do you dial a phone? Okay, I got this.”

No I don’t. The phone slipped out of his hand, he was shaking so bad. “Shit, I can’t do this.”

  
Simmons was concentrating on his Lamaze breathing to help with the contractions.

“Grif, Calm down, we’ll be fine.” He was trying not to react to the pain for Grif’s sake, but Grif was still shaking.

  
How the hell can Simmons stay this calm?


	14. Chapter 14

 

  
Grif had to get Simmons to the hospital, and quick. “Well shit, I couldn’t handle making the damn phone calls and you’re trusting me to drive you?”

  
“Hey, it was bad enough I had to call Wash and the doctor for you. There is no way I can drive. I need you.” He could hardly walk without being doubled over in pain.

  
“You’re never gonna make it to the car.” Grif put one arm around him and the other to support his back. “Lean up against me, I got you, I’ll get ya there.”

  
It wasn’t easy, but Grif got him to the car. “At least sitting down will be easier on you.”

  
Simmons stayed amazingly calm through the pain. Grif was impressed, but in actuality, Simmons was too scared to even open his mouth.

It wasn’t so much because of the pain, but he could feel his heart rate raising. For the first time in six months, he remembered the doctor’s warning about the hormone shots.

This couldn’t be happening, not now. He had to stay calm.

  
Grif kept glancing over once in a while. “How the hell can you be so calm. Go ahead and scream. You deserve to.”

  
Simmons was able to give him a small smile. There was no way he was telling Grif about any heart trouble, it could just be normal stress from being in labor. He wouldn’t worry him.

  
“No, I’m okay, not panicking is better for the babies.”

  
Grif nodded. “That makes sense.”

  
They made it safely, Grif didn’t know how. He was numb with worry, he couldn’t feel anything.

Getting Simmons out of the car was near impossible. He cried out in pain as soon as he stood up. The contractions were getting too close, he really needed Dr. Grey.

  
Grif knew what he needed to do. “It’s okay, I’m here, don’t worry.” He went to pick Simmons up.

  
“Woah Grif, you can’t carry me. I’m too heavy.”

  
“Bull, we’re a team, I’m here for you. Hey, it’s kinda like being back on Red Team together.”

  
In spite of the pain, Simmons had to chuckle. “Oh god, don’t remind of that place.”

Simmons couldn’t help remembering those days. He looked at Grif so affectionately. This was the same idiot that drove him crazy and made his life a living hell at Red Base. The same idiot he would spend the rest of his life with. It was unreal.

  
He could barely make it, but Grif got his husband safely in to Grey’s office. He had to put Simmons down, he was right when he said he was too heavy.

  
She smiled at the spectacle and conviently pulled in a wheelchair. “I think this makes more sense.”

  
Grif was huffing and puffing, this was why he hated doing work. “I think I need one of those now, you really don’t need it, do you?”

  
Simmons rolled his eyes as he settled in the chair. “Thanks a lot, lazy ass.” This was why he needed Grif with him. He took his mind off of the pain.

  
Doctor Grey reached out to push the wheelchair. “I have to check you over some, but I feel you’re ready for the delivery room. I want to check on the little girl before we start. Can you handle the pain a little longer?”

  
Simmons wanted to cry, he wanted the painkillers. But this was for his daughter. “Yeah, I can manage.”

  
Grif followed behind, afraid to look at anything. He was scared of the delivery room. He helped Simmons onto the table.

  
Grey rushed around to find the baby on the monitor. “Oh man, she looks worse, I’m worried about her.”

  
Simmons’ stress level rose again. It made his next contraction even worse. It got the doctor’s attention.

  
“Let me check you real quick.” She grabbed a stethoscope and listened to his heart, and she grabbed his wrist to feel his pulse.

“Why didn’t you tell me about these heart problems sooner?”

  
Simmons looked guilty. “I didn’t think much of it. It hasn’t felt that bad until I went into labor. I thought I was being over dramatic.”

  
Grif was hurt. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me? This is why I didn’t want to go through this. Are you going to be all right?”

  
Grey put her hand reassuringly on his shoulder. “If you’ve forgotten, I’m a medical genius, I don’t plan on losing anyone tonight.”

She gave Simmons a shot. “This painkiller will help take the edge of the contractions.”

  
Grif was going to go crazy. “You can’t guarantee that, I can’t lose my husband.”

  
Simmons was feeling a little better. “Grif, listen to me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t want to scare you. But I need you to promise me something.”

  
Grif grumbled, he didn’t want to forgive him yet. “What?”

  
“Nothing will happen to me, but if it does, you have to pick the kids over me. I need to hear you say it, promise me.”

  
Grif couldn’t talk without his voice cracking. “I can’t… I can’t lose you.”

  
The tears were streaming down Simmons’ face. “No, please promise me. I already know these kids, and I can’t live without them. I know you’ll take of Dex, and I know you will take care of the twins too.”

  
“Oh man, I really hate you right now. I promise you, there you happy?”

  
“I feel better hearing it.”

  
“You know I love you more than anything in the world, right?”

  
“Yeah Grif, I do. Remember all those years that you drove me crazy and I hated you? I loved every minute of it, but damned if I would let you know it.”

  
“I figured that, it’s part of my charm.”

  
Dr. Grey came flying through the door. “All rightee Simmons, delivery room is all ready for you.”

  
Grif helped get him on the table. “What’s next, I’m all ready.”

  
“You’re going to have to leave.”

  
She broke his heart. “No, I want to stay with him.”

  
“I’m sorry, this is a high risk delivery. You have to wait in the waiting room. I’ll take care of him for you.”

  
Simmons tried to reach to Grif, but a big contraction doubled him over. When he could talk again, “Grif, come here.”

He took his wedding ring off his finger. “Take this and keep it safe for me. It’ll help give you the strength to get through this.”

  
He reached out and took it before Grey pushed him out the door.

“He’s close, you need to leave.”

  
He stood outside watching the doors. It took all his strength to walk away.  
  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

 

Grif sat alone in the tiny waiting room, staring at nothing. Out of nervous habit, he played with Simmons’ wedding ring, wishing he was with his husband.

  
He looked down at it. It was the same gold Claddagh ring he gave him over three years ago, on the day he proposed by throwing it at Simmons’ head.

He had never taken it off until now. Grif clung to that ring, he didn’t want it to be the only part of Simmons that he had left.

  
He was so lost in thought, he didn’t hear Wash come up behind him. He jumped.

“Woah, sorry Grif, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He held out a cup of coffee to him. “I thought you could use this.”

  
Grif wiped away the last of his tears and took the cup. “Thanks, I really do. Why did you come? I mean I glad to have you here, but you didn’t have to come.”

  
“I wanted to, I couldn’t let you guys go through this alone.” He handed Grif a package of Oreos. “These are a present from Tucker. He has babysitting duty or he would be down here too.”

  
“Great.” He opened them and ate a couple. “How’s Dex handling all this?”

  
“I don’t want to upset you, so I’ll just say he’s coping as well as can be expected.”

  
“C’mon, tell me the truth.”

  
“He won’t stop crying for Simmons. He keeps calling for him, especially since he wouldn’t go home when Simmons came for him. He feels guilty. Tucker was having a hard time getting him settled down. He’ll be okay though.”

  
Grif started crying again. “The poor kid, I wish he could be here, I really need him.”

  
“I know, but you can’t have a little kid down here.”

  
The more Grif cried, the more he grabbed at the cookies. Wash had to take them away before he ate the entire package. Grif was kind of disappointed.

  
Wash’s cell phone rang, it was Tucker. He put it on speaker so Grif could hear. “Hi honey, how’s Dex doing?”

  
Tucker’s voice came on. “He’s a lot better than what he was, but he wants both his dads. I thought maybe he could talk to Grif, it might help him. He’s right here.”

  
Grif perked up. “Hey kiddo, how ya doing?” He felt like crying again when he heard little Dex’s voice.

  
“Hi Daddy, I miss you.”

  
“I miss you too, kiddo. I’m waiting to hear how your dad is. You’re going to have a new brother and sister sometime soon.”

  
“I want to see my Daddy.”

  
“You’ll be able see him tomorrow. He’ll be feeling better by then.”

  
“Promise?”

  
“I promise. You behave for Uncle Tucker. I love you.”

  
“Love you too Daddy.”

  
Grif hates saying goodbye. The doors to the delivery room opened up. Grif’s heart stopped beating. Please be okay Simmons.

He was too afraid to know. Wash put his hand on his shoulder for support.

  
Dr. Grey was unusually quiet. “You come on back now.” She didn’t give him any clue to what happened. Grif’s mind envisioned the worst.

  
She led him back to a hospital room and opened the door for him. “Go on in.” She closed the door behind her.

  
He saw Simmons lying in the bed. He was awfully still. Oh god, he didn’t make it and Grey couldn’t tell him. No… how would he make it alone?

  
In the middle of his panicking, Simmons reached out his hand to Grif. His heart started beating again.

“Oh thank god, I thought you didn’t make it.”

  
“Of course I did.”

  
“How come Dr. Grey didn’t tell me?”

  
“I asked her not to. I wanted to see how much you missed me.”

  
“You fucking jerk, I didn’t miss you at all.” He still couldn’t stop crying.

  
“Liar, you couldn’t survive without me. You don’t even know where anything is in your own house. You couldn’t make it if you didn’t have me to do everything for you.”

  
Grif smiled through the tears. “Yeah, it’s true. I would miss you too much. Here, I kept this for you.” He took the ring off his pinky finger, slipped it back on Simmons’ finger and gave him a kiss.

  
“You’ll have to make sure to meet your kids later.”

  
Grif got excited. “They’re both okay?”

  
“They’ll be fine. Because they’re premature, Dr. Grey wants to keep in observation for a little while, then we can bond with them. I did get to hold them for a few minutes. I’m already in love.”

  
His voice started fading out. Soon he was asleep. Grif realized then how exhausted he was.

He carefully slid into the bed beside Simmons, trying not to hurt him. He put his arm around him. Simmons woke up long enough to reach over and hold his hand.

  
He was kind of cramped, but Grif was never picky about nap time. He was happy right where he was.  
  



	16. Chapter 16

 

Grif woke with a start when Dr. Grey came in, she shook her head at him. “Oh, this is where you went, I thought it seemed quiet. I gave Wash the heads up about what happened. He went back home to tell little Dexie the news.”

  
Grif fought to wake up. “Thanks. But that was a rotten trick you two pulled on me.”

  
“We needed to lighten the situation up a little bit.Though I have a few concerns with your daughter. Since Simmons is asleep, I won’t bother him with it.”

  
“What’s wrong, is she all right? When can I see my kids?”

  
“She will be all right. The delivery was a little too stressful for her. She was hurt by her umbilical cord. I got her out before there was trouble. But she is having trouble breathing. I want her to spend the night in an incubator with some oxygen. She will be fine in the morning. Your son is doing great.”

  
She took him to the nursery so he could see his son. He was sound asleep in a bassinet.

Grif couldn’t see much, he was wrapped in a blue fleece blanket. But he seen he had a lot of wild black hair. He thought he looked a little like Dex.

  
“Come on, your little girl isn’t happy about her bed for the night. She would be crying, but it hard for her breathe.”

  
They got closer to the incubator. He felt so bad for her to be locked up in something so claustrophobic. He had to go look at her.

  
When he looked inside, he was shocked. She had bright red curls that were out of control. Just like a certain nerd whose hair would look like that if he didn’t keep it trimmed short.

She opened her eyes to look at him. She had big green eyes. His heart melted, she was exactly what he wished for; a miniature Simmons.

  
He could see the confusion and fear in those eyes. She didn’t know where she was and she didn’t like it.

She tried to reach for Grif, like she knew exactly who he was. She wanted him to save her. He put his hand up to the glass and wished he could hold her.

  
He pulled a chair up as close as he could get to sit by her. “Don’t worry baby girl, I’m not leaving you. Daddy is here, you’re safe.”

He kept his hand up to the glass so she knew he was watching her.  
She didn’t seem quite as afraid. After a while of reaching for him, she started dozing off. Grif tried to get comfortable in the chair. No way was he leaving until she was out of there.

  
At some point, he must have fallen asleep. Someone tapped his shoulder. He jumped and almost fell off the chair. He had forgotten where he was.

  
He looked up to see Simmons standing behind him laughing softly. “It figures it was you. Did you do it on purpose?”

  
He was still smiling. “No, but I wish I did.” He had their little boy in his arms. He handed him down to Grif.

  
The baby didn’t exactly cry, but he made some noises of protest. He was already attached to Simmons.

  
“I don’t think he likes me.” Grif waited for him to cry, but he settled down and went back to sleep in his arms. “Oh, never mind, he’s good.”

  
Simmons smiled at them. They looked so cute together. He moved in closer to see his daughter.

When she saw Simmons, she started crying a little. She really wanted him to hold her. He tried to comfort her the best he could. Soon she calmed down, but didn’t look happy.

  
Grif brought him a chair so he wouldn’t have to stand. “You know, you shouldn’t be up yet. Wasn’t that like a surgery?”

  
“Yeah I know, but it was lonely without you. Grey told me where you went. So if my family can’t come to me, I was coming to them.” He pointed to the baby in Grif’s arms. “And he wanted to come with me.”

  
“And does ‘he’ have a name yet?”

  
“It seemed the only name we both agreed on was Jacob. So what do you think?”

  
“Yeah, little Jake, I like that. How about her?”

  
“That’s harder. She’s a little miracle. She shouldn’t be as healthy as what she is. How about Mira, that’s kind of a shorter version of Miracle?”

  
“That’s cute, it’s fits her.” When she was sleeping, she looked like a little angel.

  
Dr. Grey found them. “Oh no, Simmons you can’t be up yet. Neither should the baby. You know how badly you guys are breaking the rules?”

She talked strict, but had a little smile on her face. They were a cute family.

  
“I know I shouldn’t, but I had to see my daughter. If she’s stuck out here, that’s where I’m staying.” Simmons went into his stubborn dad mode. He wasn’t moving.

  
“Then if you’re staying, you’re at least doing this my way.” She made two trips, one with the wheelchair for Simmons, and a tiny bassinet for the baby.

  
“Grif, we’ll put the baby near his sister, Simmons this will be more comfortable for the night. You have to be careful with your stitches. You guys are driving me nuts, so go to bed.”

  
Grif and Simmons held hands while watching their babies sleep. Grif started getting choked up as he looked at his daughter.

  
Simmons turned to him. “Now what’s wrong?”

  
“You realize how I said that we didn’t need the second baby, I would have been okay with killing her. Now I’m looking at her, she’s exactly how I pictured our baby looking. And the fact that we almost lost her…I feel terrible.”

  
“Grif, stop it.” He was making cry now. “Do you think the thought never crossed my mind? But we chose to have her, it all worked out. If we keep thinking of all the what-ifs, we’ll go crazy. So stop it.”

  
Simmons leaned over to rest his head on Grif’s arm. He was so tired, he couldn’t keep his eyes open. Grif snuggled closer to him and tried to stay awake as he kept watch over his kids.

  
Little Mira was the last thing he looked at. She was going to be daddy’s little girl for the rest of his life.


	17. Chapter 17

 

Two weeks later and the Grif-Simmons household was super chaotic. Both of the babies were healthy and active.

Simmons was completely healed from the surgery and his usual control freak nature came out at home.

  
He was trying to balance both babies in his arms, while trying to heat up their formula at the same time. They both decided to be hungry at the same, and they would scream whenever Simmons tried to put them down.

  
Grif was absolutely no help, as usual. They were babysitting Chloe today, and he was playing with her and Dex. Simmons really needed him to lend a hand, he was going to strangle him later.

  
There was a brief knock at the screen door, Wash could see Simmons’ distress and let himself in.

  
“Need a hand there? Let me help.”

  
Simmons handed him both the babies. Wash went stiff, he wasn’t used to handling such little kids. He braced himself, waiting for them to cry, but they both seemed to like him.

  
Tucker came in, he was planning on helping Grif with Dex and Chloe. He got sidetracked when he saw Wash with the twins.

“Hey, you look good with kids. Just loosen up a little, act natural , you won’t hurt them.”

  
“Would you take one for me? I don’t want to drop them.”

  
Tucker was laughing at him as he took ahold of little Mira. “Dude, I love you, but you’re a total dork.”

  
He held the baby like a pro. Wash took mental note so he could get a better grip on little Jacob.

  
Simmons watched with amusement, he was happy to get a break. “Since you’re doing so well with Jacob, do you want to try feeding him?”

  
No. “Yes, I’ll give it a shot.” He was stiff and paranoid, but he didn’t do too badly with it. Tucker volunteered to feed Mira, and he had fun with it.

  
Dex and Chloe came running out with Grif behind them. He was surprised to see Wash and Tucker. “Hey, are we having a party out here?”

  
Simmons glared at him. “Yeah, at least they were willing to lend a hand. Which is more than some people do.” He shot him a dirty look.

  
Grif gave his innocent ‘who me’ look. “I was keeping these two disasters out of trouble. I actually ran after them, it was horrible.”

  
Chloe went running to Wash and threw her arms around his waist. “Hi daddy Wash.”

  
“Hi Chloe girl.”

Simmons took Jacob so he could be burped, Wash had no idea how to. He put his arm around Chloe and hugged her back.

  
She made her rounds to Tucker who was finishing feeding Mira. She tried to reach up so she could touch the baby.

  
“Be careful sweetie, she’s a little too small to play with yet.”

  
Simmons wiped off Jacob’s face, and went to kneel down with him in front of Chloe.

“No, she’s okay. She knows to be easy with the babies. She helped me today with changing them. She’s a good helper.”

  
“Hold out your hands.” With both of his hands still on the baby, he let Chloe hold him for a minute. Jacob looked up at her with his big green eyes and smiled. “See, he likes you.”

  
Chloe giggled. “He’s so cute.”

  
“They’re only cute when they’re quiet. That doesn’t happen often.” Now that everyone was safe, Grif could go back to his normal, grumpy attitude.

  
Simmons could get him back. “For that comment, you’re getting up with them for their nighttime feedings.”

  
“No way, remember that was a part of my deal. No getting up at night.”

  
“Too bad, you should have got it in writing.”

 

  
Simmons had a hold of Jacob in one arm and Dex grabbed a hold of his other hand. He was a bit more clingy with Simmons since the babies came. But he loved helping him take care of them.

  
Tucker moved closer to Wash. “Ya know, we could have a kid together. Chloe would be a great big sister. You have it and I’ll take care of it, like a team.”

  
“No way, don’t even think about it!” He looked dead serious.

Unfortunately, Tucker had a whiny, determined look, he wouldn’t give up so easily.

  
Grif chuckled. “Funny how that’s what I’ve said before; twice. And look how well that worked out for me.”

  
“We have Chloe, that’s enough.”

Tucker continued to give him his famous pleading look, that usually always worked on Wash.

  
“Watch out Wash, look at the look on his face, you’re in for it.” Grif could be amused because it wasn’t happening to him again.

  
Wash sighed. “We’ll talk about this some other time. Like years from now.”

  
Tucker had a knowing look on his face. “Yeah, we’ll see.”

  
“Okay, we had enough fun playing with the babies for one day.”

  
Tucker handed Mira over to Grif. A big smile lit up her face. She always smiled when Grif was around. He was proud that he was her favorite. He playfully gave her some kisses and held her close.

  
Simmons had to break the moment. “Give me her, it’s past her nap time. Dex, you want to help me put the babies down for their nap?”

  
“Yeah Daddy.” He followed right behind him, he was proud to help his dad.

  
When the two got back, Grif had to ask a question that bothered him. “You’re not really mad at me, are you? I try to help you out.”

  
Simmons was starting on a salad for dinner. “No, of course not. All three of the kids love you, you’re great with them. That’s what matters.”

  
“Do you still love me?”

  
“Usually.”

  
“What about the rest of the time?”

  
“I suffer through it.”

  
“Well I love you all the time, you nerd.”

  
“I know.” He smiled affectionately at Grif.

  
After nine months of hell, life finally got back to normal.

 

 


End file.
